Member story: Jennifer Thompson and the gift of mental health self-care

5-minute read

While everyone else is busy wrapping gifts and enjoying holiday cheer, Jennifer Thompson sometimes feels like she needs a reset button for her holiday plans—tuning out the stress and focusing on what really matters. She’s discovering that it’s okay to refresh and start over if necessary.

The holidays are commonly known as a joyful time of year. But for Jennifer, a benefits educator at the Employees Retirement System of Texas (ERS), they’re often not. That’s in part because she’s lived with chronic depression and anxiety for more than 15 years.

“It's always been kind of a sad time of year,” she said of the Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas trifecta. “There are a lot of expectations around the holidays—for it to be perfect or that you should be happy and it should be a time to celebrate. I’m just usually not all that happy.”

Even though she outwardly preps Christmas gifts and decorations for her three children, she doesn’t often feel the holiday spirit. “I do the things you're supposed to do,” she said, “but I kind of just get through it, really. It's like, thank goodness it's January!”

Depression can look and feel different for everyone, but for some it can make everyday activities like showering and eating a meal feel overwhelming. “For me, it's not so much situational or seasonal as something that I have to manage year-round. It's like there are peaks and valleys; like a rollercoaster almost. Sometimes I feel amazing and other times I feel terrible. There's never really for me, just, ‘I'm okay.’”

Life changes or transitions can trigger depressive episodes for some people and—like many others—she’s had a tough few years. “I feel like I’ve had a lot of endings. I quit a toxic job, ended an unhealthy marriage, lost family members and moved to another city,” she said. By December 2023, the depression intensified. “My therapist suggested more intensive treatment multiple times, but I was so focused on work and other day-to-day activities,” she said.

Eventually, work (and her depression) became unmanageable. She realized she needed to make her health a priority, so she took a leave of absence to focus on more intensive treatment. “I feel like ERS has saved my life, in a way," said Jennifer. "I work with such supportive people and have these amazing benefits as a state employee; I don’t think my physical or mental health would be as good as it is now without them.”

From a concern that’s both personal and professional, Jennifer wants to help others recognize a need for mental health support.

“I think if you feel a certain way for so long, that is your ‘normal,’” she explained. “A lot of people don't realize that they might be dealing with anxiety or depression: they don't know to call it that because they have felt this way for a long time, and that’s ‘just life’ for them.”

She recommends people talk with a doctor about how they feel and to see what treatment options may be available, be it medication or talk therapy, or a combination. “There's just something about saying things out loud—hearing yourself saying something you think all the time,” Jennifer said, “that can help you think about it in a different way.”

In 2023, she chose to do something different. “I decided December 1 is going to be my New Year’s Day,” she said.

That personal mental jump became part of her self-care.

Following her intensive mental health treatment and with the encouragement of her therapist, Jennifer found a gym she actually enjoys going to, and with regular use, this helped steady her wobbly three-legged stool of treatment—talk therapy, medicine and physical activity.

She looked at options to meet her “New Year’s resolution” of practicing yoga three times per week. “My yoga teacher likes to say, ‘movement is medicine;’ you have to figure out what medicine you need that day and in that moment,” Jennifer said. “I like that yoga is a practice, that you’re never going to be perfect, but you get a little bit better.”

A sauna was also a non-negotiable amenity. “When the depression or anxiety is really bad, it can be very painful.” She’ll get tension headaches, knots in her shoulders and back pain; a soak in the hot tub gives relief.

She found that Life Time gyms had everything she wanted, but they seemed out of reach financially. She ultimately enrolled in the Fitness Program available to all HealthSelect^SM participants, which let her access that gym and many others for less than the retail price. The Fitness Program is flexible, so she can use different gyms when she travels.

A year later, Jennifer regularly visits a high-end facility in Ft. Worth that’s a favorite third place.

With consistent practice, Jennifer said, “yoga has changed my life. When I don’t make yoga and exercise a priority, I can feel it both physically and mentally. It’s so annoying that exercise helps as much as it does, because it’s so clichéd.”

Help is available through the Texas Employees Group Benefits Program (GBP). Benefits include health plan features like: reasonable copays for in–network mental health counselors and specialists; low- or no-cost Doctor on Demand and MD Live Virtual Visits; valuable prescription drug benefits; and, of course, the Fitness Program. In addition, there are TexFlex flexible spending accounts or a Consumer Directed HealthSelect health savings account that can help lower your taxable income while budgeting for health-related costs. And the Discount Purchase Program can help you find savings on healthy lifestyle products like meditation apps and meal prep delivery services. (Note: Value-added benefits like the Fitness Program, and offerings through the Discount Purchase Program can change at any time.)

Making changes is a common message we get every January. It’s a naturally good time to check in with yourself and those you love. But, as it did for Jennifer, a new year can start any day.

Facing a mental health crisis?

If you or someone you know is faced with a mental health crisis, there are immediate resources available.

• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: If you need emotional support, reach out to the national mental health hotline: 988.Call or text: 9-8-8. Chat: 988lifeline.org.
• Local resources: Texas Health and Human Services also suggests calling the crisis hotline of the local mental health or local behavioral health authority for your county. Find this number by using the online mental health services search form or by calling one of the numbers below.

Crisis services are available 24/7 and include a prompt face-to-face crisis assessment, crisis intervention services, a crisis follow-up and relapse prevention services. The HHSC Crisis Services Guide (PDF) has information on various state-funded crisis services and organizations that can help connect people to resources.